Sex and Drugs and Rock & Roll ... Myths and Truths

Well, there are many myths about sex, drugs and rock and roll. I'll try to dispel them, but only so far as MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
The first myth is that rock musicians have women throwing themselves at them. Well, not that I've seen. Conventional wisdom says that rockers get more ass than the port-a-potty at the state chili cook-off. I can't say that that is my personal experience. Only once have I ever gone home with someone I didn't plan to, and there was no sex. Some fun, but no sex. Maybe that happens to REAL rock stars, but not us guys who slave in the small bars and nightclubs.
First of all, at the end of the night, we don't have roadies to pack up our stuff and bring it to the next show. No limos taking us back to a 4-star hotel. No, WE pack it up and set it up, then spend 3-5 hours on stage, then WE have to pack it all up again at the end of the night. There aren't too many unattached women waiting for us after an hour of packing. They've gone home with someone else, somebody who isn't tired and sweaty and still working. They go home with the guy who had time to chat them up and dance with them while we were playing. And during the free time we have, ( i.e., breaks ) we need to take care of business. Have a piss, maybe a smoke, go to the bar or maybe grab a quick bite, say a quick hello to any friends who may have come, re-tune our instruments and quickly discuss the next set of music. That doesn't leave a lot of time for meeting new people. The standard break is 15-20 minutes, and just as you get settled, it's back to the stage.
Secondly, after a show, I would probably be a tremendous disappointment in the bedroom. Playing a show is just like a real job, and many times we do it after working a full day at a REAL job. Between packing, unpacking, setting up, playing, breaking down and packing up again, it's a 6 to 8 hour process. Plus, I just gave everything I had while I was playing, using most of my energy for the performance on stage. After that, I just want to sleep when I get home. If I can. Performing in the bedroom would probably suck for the lady involved, as there's NO gas in the tank after a show. I usually can't sleep for a couple hours, if at all. And now that I'm past my early-30's, I usually end up pretty sore and useless for a day or 2 after a show. I find that I can barely move, forget doing anything that requires any type of motion. After the most recent show I played, the only thing I accomplished the next day was going to the gym. Physically, I was a TOTAL piece of junk for 2 days.
The other thing that I should mention is the musician's general lack of social skills. I have to admit I saw this opinion somewhere else. But, while other guys in high school were polishing up their social skills, going to dances and feeling up cheerleaders, many musicians were in a garage or basement, hitting the hash pipe and learning a Black Sabbath or Led Zeppelin riff. So, many of us aren't real comfortable in social situations. Myself, I'm real comfortable with people who know me, and I can warm up to new people pretty quickly. But, I'm kind of a loner, and people who don't know me might see me as shy or standoffish. Plus, when I'm playing, I try to be as professional as possible, so the time between sets is used for the aforementioned activities. I'm NOT anti-social, I'm workin' here.
Now that I mentioned the hash pipe, time to mention the myths about drugs. I can only personally speak about grass and booze. I have no personal experience with hard drugs and music. I have played with someone who MAY have had a heroin problem at the time. If he WAS on smack, it was a definite detriment. I recall his being sick at a gig, and since discovering he was using, I have wondered if he had the flu, or was dope-sick. I don't think I could work with someone who was using hard drugs. I just don't think they would or could be reliable enough.
As for grass, I don't see that as much of a problem. I've never known anyone who was too stoned to play. However, since I am clean, I can't and won't recommend it. I've simply never found it to be an issue.
Booze, however, is quite the opposite. Too much is a problem. Moderation is the key. The myth is that rock musicians drink like fish. Well, that image is false and dangerous. Most musicians, when they are young and inexperienced, think that they can drink heavily and it won't be an issue. "Rock and Roll lifestyle", right ??? Big mistake. Playing music live is all about timing. Booze throws it off like nothing else. That doesn't mean you can't have a cold frosty or a cocktail. But someone getting drunk becomes a problem for the whole band. Being drunk causes you to screw up, and usually, it's pretty noticeable. Screwing up chord sequences, keys, solos, arrangements, lyrics, playing too loud, missing signals, both musical and visual. All of them happen with too much alcohol, many times all of them in the same gig. Granted, I can't think of a mistake-free gig. But most people don't notice one mistake, one bad chord, one flubbed verse. But if you're drunk, too many things go wrong to cover it up. And it can become a complete embarrassment, not just for the person who had too much, but for the whole band. It's totally unprofessional, and reflects very poorly on everyone involved. I can honestly state that I have never, to the best of my knowledge, had so much to drink that my playing really suffered. But I have been a total waste afterwards, sleeping in a car, or being driven home after blacking out. So I am very careful not too drink too much when I play. For one, it just doesn't work. Plus at the end of the night, while the other guys go home with that hot blonde over in the corner, I have to be sober enough to drive my ass home, alone again.

Just my random thoughts on the myths of the rock & roll life ... word up and peace out ...