Sex and Drugs and Rock & Roll ... Myths and Truths

Well, there are many myths about sex, drugs and rock and roll. I'll try to dispel them, but only so far as MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
The first myth is that rock musicians have women throwing themselves at them. Well, not that I've seen. Conventional wisdom says that rockers get more ass than the port-a-potty at the state chili cook-off. I can't say that that is my personal experience. Only once have I ever gone home with someone I didn't plan to, and there was no sex. Some fun, but no sex. Maybe that happens to REAL rock stars, but not us guys who slave in the small bars and nightclubs.
First of all, at the end of the night, we don't have roadies to pack up our stuff and bring it to the next show. No limos taking us back to a 4-star hotel. No, WE pack it up and set it up, then spend 3-5 hours on stage, then WE have to pack it all up again at the end of the night. There aren't too many unattached women waiting for us after an hour of packing. They've gone home with someone else, somebody who isn't tired and sweaty and still working. They go home with the guy who had time to chat them up and dance with them while we were playing. And during the free time we have, ( i.e., breaks ) we need to take care of business. Have a piss, maybe a smoke, go to the bar or maybe grab a quick bite, say a quick hello to any friends who may have come, re-tune our instruments and quickly discuss the next set of music. That doesn't leave a lot of time for meeting new people. The standard break is 15-20 minutes, and just as you get settled, it's back to the stage.
Secondly, after a show, I would probably be a tremendous disappointment in the bedroom. Playing a show is just like a real job, and many times we do it after working a full day at a REAL job. Between packing, unpacking, setting up, playing, breaking down and packing up again, it's a 6 to 8 hour process. Plus, I just gave everything I had while I was playing, using most of my energy for the performance on stage. After that, I just want to sleep when I get home. If I can. Performing in the bedroom would probably suck for the lady involved, as there's NO gas in the tank after a show. I usually can't sleep for a couple hours, if at all. And now that I'm past my early-30's, I usually end up pretty sore and useless for a day or 2 after a show. I find that I can barely move, forget doing anything that requires any type of motion. After the most recent show I played, the only thing I accomplished the next day was going to the gym. Physically, I was a TOTAL piece of junk for 2 days.
The other thing that I should mention is the musician's general lack of social skills. I have to admit I saw this opinion somewhere else. But, while other guys in high school were polishing up their social skills, going to dances and feeling up cheerleaders, many musicians were in a garage or basement, hitting the hash pipe and learning a Black Sabbath or Led Zeppelin riff. So, many of us aren't real comfortable in social situations. Myself, I'm real comfortable with people who know me, and I can warm up to new people pretty quickly. But, I'm kind of a loner, and people who don't know me might see me as shy or standoffish. Plus, when I'm playing, I try to be as professional as possible, so the time between sets is used for the aforementioned activities. I'm NOT anti-social, I'm workin' here.
Now that I mentioned the hash pipe, time to mention the myths about drugs. I can only personally speak about grass and booze. I have no personal experience with hard drugs and music. I have played with someone who MAY have had a heroin problem at the time. If he WAS on smack, it was a definite detriment. I recall his being sick at a gig, and since discovering he was using, I have wondered if he had the flu, or was dope-sick. I don't think I could work with someone who was using hard drugs. I just don't think they would or could be reliable enough.
As for grass, I don't see that as much of a problem. I've never known anyone who was too stoned to play. However, since I am clean, I can't and won't recommend it. I've simply never found it to be an issue.
Booze, however, is quite the opposite. Too much is a problem. Moderation is the key. The myth is that rock musicians drink like fish. Well, that image is false and dangerous. Most musicians, when they are young and inexperienced, think that they can drink heavily and it won't be an issue. "Rock and Roll lifestyle", right ??? Big mistake. Playing music live is all about timing. Booze throws it off like nothing else. That doesn't mean you can't have a cold frosty or a cocktail. But someone getting drunk becomes a problem for the whole band. Being drunk causes you to screw up, and usually, it's pretty noticeable. Screwing up chord sequences, keys, solos, arrangements, lyrics, playing too loud, missing signals, both musical and visual. All of them happen with too much alcohol, many times all of them in the same gig. Granted, I can't think of a mistake-free gig. But most people don't notice one mistake, one bad chord, one flubbed verse. But if you're drunk, too many things go wrong to cover it up. And it can become a complete embarrassment, not just for the person who had too much, but for the whole band. It's totally unprofessional, and reflects very poorly on everyone involved. I can honestly state that I have never, to the best of my knowledge, had so much to drink that my playing really suffered. But I have been a total waste afterwards, sleeping in a car, or being driven home after blacking out. So I am very careful not too drink too much when I play. For one, it just doesn't work. Plus at the end of the night, while the other guys go home with that hot blonde over in the corner, I have to be sober enough to drive my ass home, alone again.

Just my random thoughts on the myths of the rock & roll life ... word up and peace out ...

The best gig EVER ???? The next one ...

Well, this blog is gonna mostly be for blogs about my band ( or bands @ times ). Maybe you're interested ... maybe you really couldn't care any less. Mostly, this is for my own faulty fuckin' memory. If you like it, great. Let me know. If not, well too friggin' bad. Then don't read it. Again, this is simply an exercise in self-indulgence and vanity over anything else. So ... to begin.

Warning ... I believe in ( mostly ) proper sentence structure, spelling and correct punctuation. Not one for internet acronyms ( lol ... etc ). Just to let ya know.

So, the name of my main band is FULL TURN, and I play guitar and sing. It's a cover band, so there's no songwriting involved. I've never written anything that I'm willing to share anyway ... the few I have written are total junk, except maybe one. So, we play parties, bars, benefits ... basically anyone who wants us can have us, and pretty cheaply too. We play music for people to dance to.

FULL TURN is composed of myself, Tom ( bass, acoustic guitar, harmonica, mandolin ), Chopper ( guitar, also my landlord ), Rick ( drums ) and Skip ( acoustic guitar, bass, percussion ). Occasionally, Ms. Chris Randall will join us to sing. She's got a phenomenal voice, and changes the band completely. There are songs we CAN'T do without her. It would be pretty ridiculous for me to sing Melissa Etheridge, Pat Benetar or Mary Chapin Carpenter.

FULL TURN ( L-R ... Skip, me, Tom, Rick and Chopper )

Yesterday, we did 2 gigs. The first was the Brookfield Acres block party in Merrimack,NH. The second was our friend Geno's 50th birthday party. We were short a man as Skip couldn't make either show, so we had to adjust our setlist accordingly.

The block party was a lot of fun. Since we had this second show, we played first, and another band, the BAcre Boys played later. Opened with "US Blues", then Sam Cooke's "Havin' a Party". Due to the approach of Tropical Storm Hanna, it felt like we were playing in a swamp. I think I was as soaked as I would be in a swimming pool !!!! Had some tuning issues early on w/my Les Paul, but an enjoyable set nonetheless.

Musically, the high point for me was the last song, "Melissa". Rick , who lives in Brookfield Acres, let his son, Ricky, join us on bass, so Tom could play acoustic and we could jam out. Don, a friend of Rick's, joined us on guitar for "Gimme 3 Steps". I lent him my '69 Telecaster for that one. Can't wait for the pictures. Just as we were hitting our stride and getting comfy, it was time to pack up for Geno's party. but, there was good pulled pork, and Harpoon Octoberfest ... yum.

Home for a quick shower, then over to Tewksbury for the party. Unloaded the truck in the rain, but we had plenty of time to set it all up. There were probably 75 people there, many friends of mine and the bands. Sean and Alice, Rosie, Ernie and Mikayla, Rita, Joe and Bev, Shannon and Craig, Bobby and Gretchen, Mike and Irene, Marion from Maine, Dottie and Joe from New York state, Terry, Tom's wife Bobbie, their daughter Betsy and her boyfriend Raymond, Larry and Beth, with Travis and Tyler. Even Sully staggered in. Chris, her dad Arthur, her sister Tracey and Tracey's spouse Lisa. Another all ages show. Great to see so many good friends. I love performing for a friendly crowd.

Terri and Geno got there @ 7:45, and we opened with "Radar Love". We brought that song in after years of hearing Geno request it. It's become one of our better selections. Then "Us Blues" and "Keep Your Hands to Yourself". Chris then joined us and sang "I Feel Lucky","Under the Boardwalk", "Rhiannon", "I'm the Only One". I sang "Folsom Prison Blues" somewhere in there ( love that shit-kickin' music ) and we did a few more songs that I don't recall. Ended the set with Chris singing "I Shall Be Released" and "Crazy". By this time, it was absolutely pouring, just buckets of water coming down outside. The AC in the hall didn't really help much. I was pouring sweat again. I don't really recall when I spent an entire day and night just dripping gallons of sweat.

Chris had to leave early, so we opened with "Picture", which ALWAYS comes off really well. Then we just tore through a version of Chuck Berry's "You Never Can Tell". I nailed the lead, which for some reason, I can't do if I have to sing it. She sang "Happy Birthday Baby" and then FULL TURN was an all male band again. The rest of the set was smokin', highlights included "Let's Twist Again", "Play that Funky Music/Hard to Handle/Honky Tonk Women", "Mustang Sally", The Stompers "Never Tell an Angel", and "Turn the Page". Nothing makes me happier than looking up and seeing a full dance floor.

The last set started with Chopper's son Bobby, our original drummer, sitting in for a few songs. We opened with "Takin' Care of Business" and had one of those impromptu moments that make performing so much fun. In the middle of Bobby's drum solo, we broke into a full version of "WipeOut", then back into "TCoB". Next was "RoadHouse Blues", with Tom doing double-duty on harmonica AND bass. Finally, Bobby ended his stint with the Stones "Dead Flowers", always a personal favorite. Rita came up and sang a somewhat ragged and unrehearsed version of "Proud Mary", then somewhere we also added "Margaritaville", which was fair at best. We played "I Saw Her Standing There" twice, at the request of a 9 or 10 year old girl who spent the night on the dance floor. I forgot the opening of "Sweet Caroline", just further evidence that I need to practice our material more often. We ended the night with "Radar Love", and another show in the books. Fortunately, the hall manager let us leave our equipment overnight, so we didn't have to load the truck in a tropical downpour. We packed it up anyway, to make the morning load-out easier and at some point there was some unnecessary drama. As I try to, I avoided the situation entirely. At 5'3" and around 130 pounds, the only thing I can do in a case like this is get hurt. Excessive alcohol consumption was the usual suspect. Over the years, I've learned to exercise restraint, as boozing usually makes for a sub-par performance.

But, a fun, fun day musically, and I could go to sleep satisfied with another job well done. Today, the day after, I'm a total piece of crap, as I suspected. Didn't sleep well, up too early to load the truck, so I've spent the day napping, watching the Patriots beat the Chiefs, and writing this blog. So here it is, the first of what will probably be many blogs about my life and times at the bottom of the rock and roll heap. But, as Willie says ... "The life I love is makin' music with my friends, and I can't wait to get on the road again". Until next time, this is your faithful correspondent tellin' you all ...

Word up, rock on and peace out ...